“When I think about taking time for myself, it just feels selfish.” My client shared openly and honestly how he was feeling about taking care of his own needs.
He was caught in a trap, stressed out and burning the candle at both ends. He had convinced himself that this was the way of being a servant leader, both in his church and in his family.
He came to me for spiritual life coaching because he didn’t understand why, if he was focused on serving others, he was so angry all the time.
The bitter truth he needed to learn was that his anger came from resenting those he was serving. Not because he had any ill will toward any of them, but because, internally, his service was taking away from his need to take care of himself.
He was a pastor, so we spent some time talking about Jesus, specifically about how even Jesus took time away for himself–he would leave the crowds or his disciples throughout the day to be by himself and pray.
My client resolved to do the same and mapped out a plan to begin his day a little earlier, with time to himself scattered throughout the day.
It’s important that we learn to take care of ourselves. But, many of us don’t prioritize it until it is too late–and even then, we struggle to prioritize it.
Self-care seems selfish. But self-care, truly practiced, frees us from the need to control and manipulate others. It opens us to love, serve, and be with others freely.
Self-care helps you heal yourself by prioritizing your own needs.
Many of us rush to-and-fro, stressed out, doing what we can while hoping others don’t notice what we missed. Self-care helps us to slow down, realize what we need, and then do something about it.
Self-care can be practiced in a variety of ways.
Just like Jesus withdrew to pray or spend time with just a few of his disciples, we can habituate a variety of self-care practices. For me, taking the time to go for a long walk is often the most helpful thing I can do for myself. For others, it might be journaling, while for others, it might be prayer or a different form of exercise.
Self-care equips you to better care for others.
When we take the time to take care of ourselves, we become emotionally healthier. Because you are now coming from a healthier place, you can better serve others and care for them, freely, instead of out of obligation or control.
These are just a few ways that self-care practices are helpful. There are many more. If you found this helpful and would like to talk about this in your own life, please let me know. Reply here or leave a comment, and let’s talk.
How was this helpful? What questions arose for you?